A Little Bit More Time Series
by Starfire
Summary: This is the story of Kazuma/Tsubasa, this is their life. Update with Reviewers Thank Page
1. A Little Bit More Time

**Disclaimer:** _Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou belongs to other people -- Masami Tsuda, Gainax and Right Stuff. I am only borrowing these characters for a short time. I promise to return them right after I'm done. However, the plot and ideas will belong to me. However please do not sue me I am a very poor fan fic writer. _

**Author Note:** Well it seems another one of these ideas has popped into my head again. I can't get over how cute Kazuma is with Tsubasa. Well I hope you enjoy this story, though I wish the creators would make the rest of the manga into a show. Also emphasize the two's relationship, though they did leave subtle hints. 

**A Little Bit More Time**

By Starfire

I couldn't exactly narrow down when I feel for her. It was just a fated thing, however I think it was the beginning even though I didn't realize that I felt more for her.   
  


There were no blinding lights to heart throbbing sounds like my mom's romance novel had indicated. Yes, I know it is rather pathetic, but I read some of her novels. After all, I get most of my inspiration for the songs I write from them. Hey! It is good research, but if my band mates ever found out, I would never hear the end of it. 

  
I usually lived in the fast track lane of music. It was my pride, joy, and love. It was the only thing stable for me and it kept me from being lonely. I was always alone with no brothers or sisters and the fact that my mother worked left me with no one. I came home after school and saw that I was alone.   
  


The silence was the worst, but I managed with the noise and music I listen to. It was my escape, my haven, from the troubles of the quietness.   
  


My band mates have always been rough around the edges about me. Shouting and thinking that my life was simple after all I was the youngest in a famous band around the area. Many people love the sound and the greatest thing was the little money I got from it. Mom didn't quite make enough to make us rich though we still did live in comfort. I just play in the band not for the money but for my love of music. 

  
I never though that I would have fallen in love, but when I first laid eyes on her, it was like magic, she was so cute. Though I had managed to insult her thinking that she was younger then me when reality she was older then me. I didn't think I realize then that I was attracted to her passionate side. She was a being filled with noise and boy did I screw it up when she got upset. I felt bad for what happened. 

  
It was just my luck that I found her being attacked by a leech of a man, who wanted her for disgusting things. I ended up busting the man's face up, however the police mistake me for the bad guy. At first, I thought she would let me rot for what I said to her back then. To my surprise, she rescued me. I learned later on that she was very peaceful inside, that she only acted weird and like a kid in order to protect herself.   
  
We ended up becoming a family, and once again, I walk away from my band and headed toward the bridge that she and I sat on. It is funny that the word love can affect us deeply. When I went home I don't feel lonely anymore. It was here that I felt close to her, I remember her green eyes sparkling up at me as she talked to me.   
  
"Kazuma! Have you been waiting long for me?" A soft voice said behind me.  
  
Turning to greet her, I smiled slightly. "Not long Tsubasa. Come on lets go get some ice cream that you like."   
  
No, never alone for we are together at last even if I cannot tell her how I feel. I somehow feel that she feels the same, but for just now lets just be together. Later I will tell her later, when I am ready for I really do love her. Just give me a little bit more time to get up the courage to tell her. Please a little bit more time.   
  
The End...or is it?


	2. Growing Up

**Disclaimer:** The characters from Kareshi Kano No Jijou do_ not belong to me. I am just borrowing them for a bit and returning them_

**Author Note: **Some of the perspectives reactions come from the Manga, however this brings in a more in depth thought of each character. 

**Relationship:** _Tsubasa/Kazuma_

**Rating:** PG-13

Growing Up!

By Starfire

When I first met him, I thought he was an ecchi a rock yaro since he had a skull necklace and his hair was spiky. It never occurred to me that this was his image and that he was one of the popular singers in the group called "Ying and Yang." I always felt alone and now my father wanted me to be family with the rock yaro named Kazumi and his mother. 

I admit that I wasn't fair in my assessment of him; after all, it was unusual for me to see a person dress so radical. I suppose I first started to fall in love with him when he punched out a major ecchi hentai man who wanted to pay me to go with him. Like I was that stupid and besides the man was beginning to make me mad, after all what sort of individual does he takes me to be? I am not a slut. 

I think that was when I started to realize my feelings for him. I found it amazing that anyone would do such a thing for me. I mean, I always protected myself or Arima helped me out. 

_Confused. _I wasn't sure how I felt for Arima anymore. I had always wanted him to play with me, be with me. I sacrificed my time in order to study so that I could be with him. _However _he was something that I never expected, he was _lonely_ just like me. We both are used to being alone and yet we cope in different ways. Me, with my childish behavior; Kazuma with his love for music. A way we can drift away from our troubles and worries. 

We were the same and yet we are different. Kazumi never did treat me like a kid; he treated me as how he felt he should. Different compared to everyone else, a wonder to those who expected me to be a cute little kid.  I never did change my outlook in order to make my father happy; after all, I was his baby, not to mention I wanted to retain the outlook that I would always be his baby. Of course, this restricted me from what I truly was, _a mature woman, _even if I didn't want to grow up.

You see most of the men in my life have left me. They never choose me and stick around. Arima left me to go with Yukino, my father went with Kazuma's mother. So where does that leave me? _Nowhere._ I want someone to choose me for me. I want them to want me enough to stay with me. I didn't want them to leave me for other things. 

My heart bled, my mind hurt, and I didn't feel hungry when Kazuma left me. _Did I do something wrong? _That thought kept on running through me as I saw him walk away from me telling me that he was to busy for me._ I miss him. I am scared. _Not because of the loneliness. No I live with that, I am more afraid of _never ever being with Kazuma again._ That is why I don't feel like eating, or even doing much, _depression, anxiety, and fear. _Theseflood my entire being, for I cannot live without, and that is what scares me more. _Being forgotten, as the one that I love goes for the other love in his life 'music.'_

I want him back home again. I want to see him and feel his arms surround me. The one I loved took care of me and cherished me, even though at the time I thought we were siblings, but lately that has seemed to change. _I felt myself change. _I was always driven by animal instinct to seek out something stable. My father wasn't exactly a good source of stability, but he was all I had. Sakura was another and that is probably why I cling to her. I grew up without a mother; she had died early when I was born. I heard from Papa that she was beautiful like me, that I had her figure, and her structure.  However, even those little words made me wonder if I was even worth anything when I was left alone to deal with things. I always shied away from strangers, they were something new and I never liked the new or the unknown. People see how cute I am and they want to touch me as if I was a special doll. _I am none of those things. _I am flesh, and blood, clear, and simple. 

I never wanted to grow up, just like the character 'Peter Pan', because the thought of being able to freezing time and never letting it dwindle away from me gave me the idea that I never had to grow up. For I fear that things would change and I would never see those that I truly cherish deeply. After all Peter had the Lost Boys, Indians, and Captain Hook. They were with him forever, never leaving him, always bringing a new trend and adventure to the boy that refused to become an adult. I guess that sounds like another rabbit hole and that the White Rabbit continues to run down into it. And maybe it is. 

I know that I can't stay in this looking glass world forever, that I need to grow up and wake up from the deep slumber. That freezes me in time, yet time goes on around me. I wanted to freeze Kazuma just like Peter Pan tried to do to Wendy, but even that is impossible, for Wendy left and soon enough Kazuma will too. Kazuma is becoming more like a man; he is growing up faster, and _me, _I can't follow. 

My heart bleeds even more as I walk away from the large image of Kazuma. It was a shock and I felt like a part of me died as those gentle eyes stared down at me from the screen, showing me his pain, sorrow and desperation. I didn't realize then that I was the cause of his desperation. He came to see me of course, at the hospital I was assigned too. I woke up and like that, I felt like an Angel was watching over me. When I saw him, I kept on screaming his name crying for him to finally come back. 

I even begged him not to leave me again, for I knew that if he left me once again that I would not be able to live. Especially if he came to tell me that he hated me and didn't want to see me anymore. I was surprised actually; I was _shocked_ to discover that he left me not because he hated me. No, Kazuma told me that he loved me and at that my heart seemed to have frozen in shock. I couldn't accept this fact, I thought he was playing with me tantalizing me with some dessert and swiping it away again. After all Arima left, Papa left, what else was there for me? 

I tried to ask him instead to stay with me if he was done singing with his band so that we would be together forever. I wince at those words now. Even the inner me thought it was a bad excuse for why I wanted him, even he knew it.  He told me he expected such an answer and I tremble thinking about the next words that flew from those lips, 'so, how about a kiss?' That threw me off guard and he knew it, but I could feel the sadness and the lust, the pure love in those eyes. I felt how his hands were placed on my head as he drew me nearer and it still makes me tingle at the memory. How close our lips were to touching each other. It runs shivers through me still. Yet I shied away from him for I feared the unknown and that he would leave me like the others did. 

Instead of being angry with me, for rejecting his gift to me. He told me that he still loved me and that he knew that I was scared. Kazuma was always one to be able see the real me. Not too many people did see why I behaved the way I did, but he did. He wanted a real kiss, something that would symbolize our growing up. Something to show that I was leaving the world I created to stay young. Instead of the kiss on the thimble, that still signifies innocence, and still being children, he wanted me to grow up to be with him. Yet, I didn't want to accept that yet, I didn't want to lose my world, my looking glass, and the place where Neverland existed. 

I glanced up to see him whisper in agony that he would wait for me no matter how long it took. However, the one thing that tore me away from my world into his was when he said, "Tsubasa can you even try to love me part of the way? Can you even try to love me more then the siblings that you think us to be?" I felt myself break apart as I watched the tears trickle down from those beautiful and expressive eyes and onto his cheeks. _Pain, hurt, hope, anxiety, fear, and Love. _ I woke up later on, the scent of Kazuma's tears still fresh in my memory, the touch of his hand, and the hurt I felt from him still coming to me. I don't want him to hurt anymore, and for that I will try to get better.

My new mother came in to bring me a tray of food; she wanted me to eat, even though I didn't feel like touching the stuff. I struggled to force it down my throat. After all, I hurt Kazuma, and I don't want him to hurt anymore. Especially knowing that I am the first thing that matters in his life. I don't want to hurt him anymore with me being sick. For that reason alone I felt myself maturing and forgetting my selfish wanting to cling to childhood forever. _At last, I finally decided to grow up, and maybe just maybe I can be with Kazuma finally. _


	3. Contemplations

**Disclaimer:**_ The characters from Kareshi Kano No Jijou do not belong to me. I am just borrowing them for a bit and returning them_

**Author Note:** Some of the perspectives reactions come from the Manga, however this brings in a more in depth thought of each character. 

**Relationship:**_ Tsubasa/Kazuma_

**Rating:** PG-13 

**Contemplation   
By Starfire**

It was nearing winter and the temperature was freezing. My roommates didn't see the need to pay the electric bill, so we were unable to heat the apartment that we all lived together in. _It wasn't so bad. Even though it was freaking cold_, I was very happy with my friends, sure they were nice guys, even though they were mostly _perverts_. I've never experience much fear in my life, but all that would end when I received a phone call from my step dad. I haven't the foggiest idea on how, he managed to get a hold of this number, but I was glad that he did. I was informed that Tsubasa, my one _true- love_, was in the hospital, I felt my world grow dark and bleak. _I was struck with terror!_ The notion that after all this time of searching, and finally finding my soul mate, that she would be taken away from me by an illness scared the hell out of me. The paleness of my skin gave clear indication to my roommates that something was wrong. I left, informing them that Tsubasa was in the hospital; the majority of them looked at me with concern. They all knew that I couldn't live without her. 

I never did get a chance to tell her that I was in love with her. This is the greatest pain of all not knowing if that would have made the difference. If that would have changed anything. Even I knew that it was a bunch of stupid accusations and that it wouldn't change the fact that Tsubasa was in the hospital. My heart beat faster, as I made way to the hospital that, she was admitted to, the weather was gloomy, and the snow drifted everywhere. I was stopped by one of the nurses that worked with my mother, I could tell she was new cause she didn't recognize me at all. I ended up being able to see Tsubasa since the head nurse recognized me immediately. I walked into the room and went to sit besides the bed to look at my Wings. I noticed immediately that she was thinner then usual that, her bones were frailer, and that her breathing was shallow. _What have you tried to do to yourself?_ My insides cried and I felt responsible for what had occurred, since I knew beforehand that she was going to take my leaving harder then anyone. 

I knew her inside and out, every inch of her mind, and the beauty that lay inside. Not too many people see her as what she truly is, a beautiful woman-child trying to figure out how to cope with the world. A sleeping beauty in her own world of her making, while she slumbers. I touched her hand, and felt how thin they had become, as I brought them to my lips. _Tsubasa wake up please. I felt my inside cry hoping that she would wake up and be alright._ To my immense relief she did wake-up, but it tore the inside out of me when I heard her cry my name, and sob it like a chant, a matron. My heart felt itself shatter into millions of pieces, at such a display of desperation as she grasped onto me like a little infant in fear, and terror that I would disappear from her sight. A thick lump went into my throat, as I apologized to her, I didn't want my _Wings_ to cry anymore. 

Pain hurled into my heart like a dagger continuously jammed into a pile of meat, over and over again, when I heard her beg me not to leave her, and that if I was angry with her that she would try to do whatever to make sure that I didn't leave. _A child._ Her thinking was still in that mode; her defenses were up resisting me slightly, trying to cope with the fact that I might leave her again. The feelings of _pain, isolation, fear, worry, guilt, want, and love_ pressed against me like a sand storm. This was unbearable to me; I simply couldn't stand the cries of her beautiful voice. It was tearing me apart, and I didn't know what to do, I felt myself hold onto her too, telling her that I didn't hate her. A part of me calmed down as I told her why I couldn't stay. I was trying to warn her that I was only trying to protect her from my desires, I was desperately attempting to let her know that I wasn't a safe place for her anymore, because I was growing up, and that I saw her as more then a sibling. 

_Grief._ It hit me hard, since I knew she would try to preserve herself from what I had claimed. Her words impacted and I felt that the need to protect her wasn't my duty at all. Especially if I had to break her shell to get her to realize that I wasn't safe for her own protection. So I asked her for a kiss. The shock and surprise in her eyes made me feel bolder; I moved even closer. Just as our lips were about to touch, she had gotten the message, and turned away in fear. I felt the pain stab at me. My heart shied away from the torment that it was being put through, the pure undeniable desire, and lust that hum within, while combined with the feelings she was giving me. I knew that I had to leave soon if I were to keep her safe. 

I asked her if she could even give me one chance; that if she could love someone like me as I love her. The hot warm tears fell down my cheeks as I felt a ring of emotion emerge in me. _Fear, anxiety, hope, faith, and Love!_ Tsubasa has always been a little girl frozen inside a rose glass tinted room, a living stature that breathes, and lives. Inwardly, I knew that she was a sleeping beauty frozen in time to sleep for eons until someone was to wake her up. I was hoping that someone would be me, yet like another rabbit hole that Alice ran into, and ended up in a world of bizarre and incredible things, it seem to be a lie. For inside I felt like not a prince charming going to save his pure love from evil of a doomed sleep of eternity. No, I felt like a _cad_, a sinner, since my desire for her ran greater then what my mind could couple with. Yet it is true, I tempted fate, trying to show her my love, yet in turn I might have doomed her to a fate worse then sin itself, my poor sleeping beauty, perhaps she would be trap inside her glass case forever, and I can no longer see her anymore. _My heart shatters at such a thought. _

Later on, I was back in the apartment; my band members were waiting for me to return. They were all looking at me, their eyes filled with worry when they saw the tears that were still flowing down my hot cheeks. I told them that I was tired, and that Tsubasa was fine. However, I knew that they didn't believe me when I told them that she was alright. Even I knew that was a lie and quite far from the truth. Ushiro asked me if I was fine, but all I did was slide down the wall and lay my head on his leg, like I had done before when I had felt an unbearable pain all of a sudden on the day that I had left home for the very first time. 

I ended up telling him about how thin Tsubasa was, because of what I done. I felt comforted by his silence and quiet acceptance of things. I guess that is why I go to him more then my other friends, since I see him as a big brother more then the others. In my conversation with him, I inform him, that I felt like a hopeless fool, yet I felt good that I tried for what I wanted. Laughing _bitterly_ at him, while tears of pain stream down my face, I grip onto his shirt asking him, if it was so bad for me to grow up at all instead of being frozen in a time with her. I question him if it was wrong for me to try to branch outward for more, then being just a little brother to Tsubasa, while denying this love that I held for her. Ushiro only petted me on the head, whispering that it wasn't wrong to want more for that was what made us human to want feelings of love, warmth, and acceptance. 

A few days later, I ended up convincing the members of Ying and Yang that I would like to have the sound track named 'Wings' after Tsubasa. Most of them agreed to my suggestion, I guess they knew that everything I did was for her. After all I still remember the vow I made to her that everything that I ever wrote and myself belonged to her. I never have broken that promise since I could see that she was hurt by all the broken promises in her life by those that she had loved dearly. As I sent the newest CD a few weeks later, with front row tickets to our last Live concert of the summer. I felt _Anxiety_ rise against me, and I hoped that she would come. I didn't want her to feel unimportant; I just wanted to see her one more time. Having her with me was all I dreamed of. Her face, her laughter, the twinkle in her eyes when she became mischievous, and her beautiful voice singing with me. 

As the concert drew closer, I felt my nerves growing more and more shaky and I began to snap at one of my more annoying band mates. I suppose this happened especially since I had someone very important that was going to be in the audience, if she even came. 

As the time grew nearer, we went up on stage and got into position. I felt myself relax a bit as I felt the familiar microphone in my hand. My eyes searched around noticing people I knew. My heart plummeted when I didn't see her yet, until I felt a faint glow flowing my way. My eyes shifted and I saw her in the center of things. I closed my eyes and smiled feeling that everything would be alright. For the one I wrote the song for is here, and she indeed _lights up my life,_ and saved me from my torment. 

Later on we went home and I felt myself smile even more. I expressed that it was great to be home as my stepfather welcomed me back, with my mother who was smiling at me proudly. Tsubasa said she would carry my bags, but I didn't want her to hurt herself, so I declined saying that the bags were to heavy. I was more afraid of the strange tension that seemed to increase as my hands brushed against her. Our parents observed us closely, as they went to the kitchen, claiming that they couldn't stand the emotions that were streaming in the room. Therefore, we ended up in my room, and I felt Tsubasa's handgrip on my arm. Her eyes were luminous green, as she smiled, said she was glad I was back, but what shook me was that she thanked me for loving her. _Acceptance._ I was happy at last, I held her in my arms feeling my heart triple from her presence, and I felt like my heart had sucked up the emotions in the room like water is to the desert. 

My fingers trembled as I brought Tsubasa back, while apologizing if I was pushing things to fast, yet I couldn't help myself. I had to get the words out of my chest before I lost my courage. So, I screamed at the top of my lungs **"MARRY ME!"** I flinched as I felt the echo in the house, but felt my heart triple happily when she said simply, "Okay." 

It was nerve racking, to have it all out, and yet it was a relief. However, as I looked at Tsubasa a nagging question came to me, and to my surprise she voiced it. "Can step-siblings get married?" 

_I don't know…_ I thought as we stared at each other. 


	4. You Light Up My Life

**Disclaimer:**_ Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou belongs to other people -- Masami Tsuda, Gainax and Right Stuff. I am only borrowing these characters for a short time. I promise to return them right after I'm done. However, the plot and ideas will belong to me. Please do not sue me I am a very poor fan fic writer._

**Author Note:**_ I wish that manga would be released faster so that I won't get facts wrong. Oh well facts on Ushio are well fake, since I can't figure out much about him, except that he is quiet. Yet, I try to fill in some blanks, and use my interpretation of his character. I almost forgot, forgive me for my bad grammar; it is rather hard sometimes to stay in first person tense. It is even harder, when it is also 5am in the morning and you are writing this under five hours. lol Please forgive me for these actions. In addition, I couldn't resist including Ushio's thoughts, since it nagging me that he should have a say in things. Please review, and let me know what you think, that way I can evaluate few more things and perhaps add on another chapter. I am still considering it. _

**Recognition:**_ I would like to thank Hontou No Watashi for the translations of the song in manga 12 of Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou, even though some of it wasn't accurate. Lyrics to "You Light Up My Life" by Joe Brooks._

**You Light Up My Life   
By Starfire**

It was a place of darkness, and yet it was filled with light by a love so simple and pure that even the driven madness of the empty void, would be immersed with blinding clarity. Hope itself would be logged, and inwardly the memory of that budding blossom would clearly enter the life of those that were blessed with the power of love. I, Ushio a member of Ying and Yang, could testify to the wonders of such a blessing. 

I have always been together with the other's of Ying and Yang, though it seems almost like a distant bitter memory. Something that lingers onward onto you, and yet it is still there haunting like the faint film of foggy that drift lazily across the sky, while plastered against the glass windows of our flat. In a way, I am still bitter about my childhood memories, only thing that seem stable in my life was the Ying and Yang band. We were always together, through thick, and thin, this of course was before Kazuma came into our lives. Hai, Kazuma, he has grown up to the be a fine young man, I am proud of him, in a way, I see him as a little brother to me. Something precious, he never did have much of a father figure, our Kazuma. In a way, I was relieved when Ikeda-san, his mother remarried to Shibahime. However, I worry for our Kazuma, he is growing up, and in a way, I feel a little wistful that he remain as the little boy, but everything has to end. Even I know that when my parents neglected me, and I found myself entering adolescence without guidance. 

It is true, our lives before Kazuma was bleak, we barely were able to put food on our table, let alone pay for the gas, and electricity bill. Our band wasn't as equip as it was now, thanks to that little boy that brought hope to our lives, and saved us with his talent. Iie [No], even though we were dirt poor, we happy, and when Kazuma came, he helped us climb, and he manage to multiply the happiness we had into more. Even so, lets face the facts, he is the best singer we ever had, I still cringe at Atsuya's attempt at singing, heck even Martin, and Joker would agree that he stunk at it. Our band, was always a bit diverse, we could play very well, I admit that, was part of our way to fame, but it was Kazuma's talent voice, and passion that feed us into glory. Even though, fame itself hasn't envelop us in the most conceit fashion, we are rather content with the simplistic live we lived. After all music is everything to our lives, it is our livelihood, and yet it is what feed us all together keeping us together like one entity. 

Hai [Yes], it was right to be thankful for Kazuma, he helped us a bunch of high school dropouts to fame. Even if, this journey ends, early I am content that we had made it this far; it is amazing I might add that how much we have grown from this journey. 

However, sometimes, even growing I would like to freeze this feeling, of happiness, contentment, and overall joy. I suppose I fear losing, this supposed feeling of warmness, that wraps around me like a gentle blanket, like a mother's embrace. Something that I had never felt, from my own parental units, something almost foreign, and yet I am able to express it to a little boy. 

A little boy with golden hair, bright eyes, and a shy smile wrapped with innocence, and happiness. Demo [But], I worry for him, I truly do worry for this youthful young man. I worry that one day, that brightness that made Kazuma, what he is would vanish, and yet I worry that he would disappear from me, then the other precious things that I value in my life would fade. I didn't ever way that to happen, it wasn't something I could bare to lose. 

I realize a long time ago that I loved this young man; he was part of the family, which had formed, ever since he stepped into our lives. Hai [Yes], Atsuya, Martin, Joker, and Kazuma are my family. It was clear as day light, to me, I never did want to lose any of them, and yet I fear for them becoming hurt by anything. 

Yet, even that fear, couldn't be vanquished, for it is part of humanity to be hurt. It is how we live, and I accepted that, with each breaking minute, and I know that I cannot spare those that I love dearly away from future pain, just like even fate itself could not spare me my own. 

It did come; I admit it, the day when Kazuma was struck by love, it was rather hilarious, when I think about it. I've always knew that Kazuma wasn't rather clear on his feelings, since he was such a gentle soul, and never experience the feeling of love before. The poor boy, thought it was sibling love at first, with the small slip of a girl, named Shibahime Tsubasa. 

I still smile, at the reactions that were circulating around my family, when they saw that little girl. To me, I felt that I had seen Peter Pan's little fairy pixie, name Tinkerbell, her features in a way reminded me of her. The smooth elfish bones structure, which looked like small delicate tool brushes of Di Vinci had carved in careful accuracy to make it look elegant like silk, her sea nymph eyes held wisdom, and her hair looked like it had been created by bits and pieces of the sun. Indeed she was as beautiful as any masterpiece in my eyes, I understood that she was precious to Kazuma immediately, when I observe both of them together. Atsuya, Martin, and Joker, pretty much thought as I did, they were rather tonic and demanding that Kazuma was in love with Tsubasa, even though he professed it was only brotherly love. 

Brotherly love indeed, it is clear that our Kazuma was in denial of his feelings, it was something that usually happen to the innocent, and yet naïve until they grow up. I dreaded that day, and indeed, it did come, and when it did, I felt the pain that radiated from him. The hurt the confusion, it bleeds profoundly inside him, and I could smell it, and in a way I shed tears in silence for the hurt that he felt for I could do nothing to ease the pain. Hai [Yes], the pain awakening adolescence from the life of the child, I felt helpless, and I hated that feeling. Only thing I could do, was be quiet, and let him lean on me. The other's I knew would never turn away their own, they in their own way love Kazuma just as much as I do. Yet, they knew as well as I did that they couldn't offer him what he truly wanted and needed, the love of the woman he loved, **_Tsubasa. _**

Tsubasa, such a delicate name, and yet it expresses the true meaning of the beauty inside that young little body of the girl. I feel for her as well, even if she doesn't know that I see what she feels. Since it is almost like the wish that I would like to acquire, being timeless, having the now to stay forever and never let it end. I knew she was suffering what Kazuma was suffering; yet, she still was in denial of her feelings. She was afraid to grow up, to awaken and realize the love she had for him. It must had been hard for her in a way to realize it, after all it was the same mistake that Kazuma made, thinking it was only sibling love. After all, it wasn't easy for either one of them, both of their parents married, making them both stepsiblings. Nevertheless, it sounds like ironic twist of fates cruel sense of humor. However, fate itself is capricious in it's mental and physical state, and with luck on their side, they are only stepsiblings. I still am amused over that fact; I even toil with the thought of informing them that they could still marry. I might if both of them finally do get together, which I have no doubt about it, but they both have to first hurt before they can heal the rift, and conquer the fear first, before they can advance further. 

I was right about the hurt. I still wished that I wasn't so accurate in my predictions of the pain that would rip through my love ones. Hai [Yes], I did extend my family outward toward the Shibahime, it was only natural of course, and we've been part of their life since Kazuma moved in with them. We still kept in contact informing his mother in secret of his welfare, though we never did let on. After all, we knew that Hiromi would trust us, with her only son, since we bonded that time by drinking that whole bottle of liquor. 

Kazuma lived day by day with us always smiling, and yet inwardly at night I could hear his tears. I was always awake at night worried for him, and when we became popular, and did more live concerts, it was clear that his smiles were those of wistfulness. I remember, the day, when he ran to us, claiming he wanted to sing, that was when the creation of his song came into existences, the song I knew that he created for the one he loved. The lyrics are now well known by many, whom listen feeling their hopes lift, and yet I still wait sitting hoping that the song would reach the heart of the glass encased pixie that has snared the love of such a wonderful man. I hope that the shell of icy glass would shatter, and let out the love that shimmers underneath the reflection of Tsubasa. That way, she would be free to love, and let her wings fly upward, and light up the life of just one man. 

For inwardly, I knew that she was made to be with him and him with her. Everyday I pray for her, but one day during the cold bitter night, we heard the phone ring. Kazuma picked it up, and it was then when we realize that something was wrong, when the wistful eyes of hope shattered into dimness. The man before us morphed into sadness, and even fear, he quickly hanged up, and ran out of the door. 

It was something, we all would never forget, and inwardly, I felt the chillness of trepidation, and restlessness creep closer onto me. I waited, so did the other's the room was silent, it felt like centuries, until Kazuma came back, but when he did, once again tears were trailing down in splotches. He ended up telling me how thin the little pixie was, because of his leaving her. Only think I could do for him was to remain quiet and understanding, it felt like small needles piercing through my heart, when he told me that he felt like a hopeless fool, even though he felt good that he tried for what he wanted. I still cringed, when he laughed bitterly at me this man was and yet he was our Kazuma. I felt him grip onto my regular white t-shirt, his hands shaking, while his voice tremble with hopeless grief, when he asked me if it was so bad for him to grow up at all instead of being frozen in a time with her. He question me if it was wrong for him to try to branch outward for more, then being just a little brother to Tsubasa, while denying this love that he held for her. Only thing I could do was to pet him on the head, while whispering that it wasn't wrong to want more for that was what made us human to want feelings of love, warmth, and acceptance. I prayed inwardly to Kami-sama to help him find comfort in those words. I felt him relax his grip, as he lean heavily onto me, his eyes closed, as his lips tugged upward slightly. 

The quiet words of _Arigato[Thanks]_, trailed from the once shy smile of the Kazuma that I knew. I nodded my head in quiet contemplation, he was healing slowly, but it would still take time, and love. 

It has been one year since that day, which I still remember fresh in my mind, now I am on stage once again. Standing in front of the crowds holding onto my bass guitar, my lips tugged upward at the shouts of the crowd that scream our bands name, in the center stands the man that I grew to admire everyday. He grew pretty tall now, equaling the size in height of Atsuya, whom still complains that he was still tall, when in truth inwardly I know he acknowledge that it was hopeless for him to be taller then the little squirt that he use to torment. I laugh in that memory, the other's stopped, and smiled at me, they were all happy, and even though I did disrupt the focus point of some of them, the crowd grew wild with excitement, wanting us to begin. Kazuma's eyes stared into mine even through the darkness of the stage; the gentleness and the shy smile still existed even after all the months that had passed to quickly for me to count. 

"Daijoubu?" [Are you alright?] Kazuma asked softly, while covering the microphone, and mouthing to me. 

Feeling my heart flood more, "I am alright, but could you do me a favor…?" I smiled at the puzzlement on his face. 

"Nanio?" [What?] He asked clearly now curious by my question. 

"Onegai [Please], let us play the song that brought us here, in the now." I whispered, my heart beating steadily, while my hands petted Kazuma on the head affectionately. "Let us play, 'You light up my life.'" 

Understanding, and awareness, with mirth appeared in those innocent orbs. Kazuma just laugh softly, while squeezing my shoulder with his hand. "Hai [Yes], Aniki [Brother]!" 

I felt my soul shift at those words, and I closed my eyes holding in the tears inside me. "Arigato [Thanks]." I then shifted back onto my spot light and refasten the bass guitar into place. 

The other's knew what I requested Kazuma for, they were part of it, and in a way it felt right, after all it was our first year anniversary, and it felt right. The opening notes crept into the air, as we started to play, the song was ingrained into our hearts for a long time. 

Kazuma stood with his head thrown back, his eyes misty with emotion, I felt proud of him, his voice roused into the night air softly. 

_"So many nights I'd sit by my window   
Waiting for someone to sing me his song   
So many dreams I kept deep inside me   
Alone in the dark but now you've come along."_

The lights slowly grew brighter, as the key melody came, the stage became dark, and only a dim spotlight centered on the five of us. I was happy, and in a way, I could tell that there was a hint of wistfulness was in Kazuma's eyes, when he opens them to look upon the crowd searching, and hoping. His voice roused upwardly while trailing in crescendo to the peak of Atsuya's guitar. 

_"And you light up my life   
You give me hope to carry on   
You light up my days and fill my nights with song"_

A light appeared on the front row, I smirked as I strum my bass, happiness I noted drifted quickly into the eyes that I observed from the side the traces of wistfulness were replaced. When our Kazuma laid his eyes on his pixie, his love, the one that made him hope for everything. Light white feathers drifted from the stage set up the held them, finally happy to dance freely on the winds. 

_"Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water   
Could it be finally I'm turnin' for home?   
Finally a chance to say "Hey, I love you"   
Never again to be all alone"_

I felt happy for him, the trembles in his voice added flavor to the song, I knew it was wicked of me, but I couldn't help it. Even though, it was clear that Tsubasa was delayed at her new job as a model for her father. I manage to pull it off with the other's help in making sure she came to this last live performance of this year. 

_"'cause you, you light up my life   
You give me hope to carry on   
You light up my days and fill my nights with song"_

I laugh silently inside my head, while sharing glances at my other comrades, whom seem to be beaming with exact same look that I probably knew I had on my face. 

_"It can't be wrong   
When it feels so right   
'cause you.. you light up my life"_

At the end of the song, I watched our Kazuma, embrace his little pixie, whom, ran up to the stage, to give her love a hug. On her hand, I noted was a small little ring in silver adorned with a small fairy, which held an emerald heart. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, as I looked upon them. My heart filled with love, and tenderness, for these two indeed did light up my life, with their promises of love together. I felt a single tear slid down my cheek, it fell onto a drifting feather blessing the freedom of love presented before me. 


End file.
